


It's The Way You Say Your Name

by Lyri



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bar, M/M, Minor Background Relationships, Pickup Lines, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9473249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyri/pseuds/Lyri
Summary: Lydia dares Stiles to use a pickup line on the next person who walks into the bar...isn't it just Stiles' luck that that person is Derek Hale?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this thing on Pintrest, funniest pickup lines that someone had collected. There were a few that I thought were really funny, and this was born.

“Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a connection.”

Stiles pauses on his way to sitting down and stares at Lydia across the table. “Uh...”

Lydia looks up from the phone in her hand and glares at him. “Don't even, Stiles. You know we're past that.”

“I'm sorry, but when your high school crush comes out with a line like that, it's hard not to let your mind take it to it's obvious conclusion.”

“It stopped being obvious when we were seventeen, Stiles,” Scott tuts next to him, “now it's just a little sad.”

Stiles deflates. “Well, excuse me for trying to make a joke.” He takes a sip of his beer. “What are you guys talking about anyway? And why does it involve pickup lines?”

Kira points to the phone. “Aiden posted this thing on Facebook, the best pickup lines to use when you're trying to...” She shrugs. “Well, pick someone up, I guess.”

“But they're pretty bad,” Scott adds.

“Bad?” Lydia scoffs, scrolling through her ex's Facebook profile. “They're are terrible, disgusting, degrading...I could go on, but I'll run out of adjectives eventually.” Her eyes widen as she comes across something. “Listen to this, 'Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?' That's...I don't even have the words.”

She throws her phone onto the table top, screen still unlocked, and Stiles scrambles to pick it up.

“Why are you so upset by this? You dumped Aiden, remember?”

“That's not the point. The point is that it's been less than two weeks and he's posting shit like this where he knows I can see it. Like he thinks it's going to make me want to run right back to him.”

“It doesn't, right?” Kira asks gently. “Because you were really sad when you were dating Aiden and I don't want you to go back to being sad. That was depressing.”

Lydia glares at her causing Kira to hold her hands up in surrender.

“I am over Aiden,” she hisses.

Scott raises his glass in a toast. “For which we are all grateful. That was a very uncomfortable time for everyone and I think you should unfriend him from Facebook right now.”

“It won't do much good, since I'm still friends with Ethan and Danny, who are both friends with Aiden, obviously. Anything he tags them in or they like will show up anyway.”

Stiles snorts and all eyes swivel to him.

“What exactly is so funny, Mieczyslaw?”

Stiles winces. “Never should have let you see my driver's license. No, scratch that, I should have legally changed my name when I was eighteen like I planned.”

Scott nods. “Yeah, that was one major guilt trip that your dad pulled. I think my mom took notes.”

“Answer the question,” Lydia demands.

“Nothing's funny, not...I mean, some of these are really cheesy. I can pretty much guarantee that none of these would make someone drop their pants if Aiden used them, not on the power of the lines alone, but...”

Kira cocks her head to the side like a puppy. “But what?”

“They're funny, you know? I can see them being used as an ice-breaker, a way to start a conversation, an opening.” Stiles shrugs. “Which I guess is actually the point. They're not supposed to make you automatically fuckable or even attractive. It's supposed to make you look funny and like you have a personality.”

Lydia snorts and picks up her drink. “Says the guy, of course.”

Stiles frowns. “Hey, no, wait a minute. Guys who think these lines actually work and are actually a real way to get someone into their bed? They're jackasses who should never have sex again. But, if you go into it thinking that it's a joke, that the best reaction you're going to get is laughter...” he shrugs, “then, hey, at least it's a start. It's better than awkwardly wandering around a bookstore until you can read the title of the book the really hot guy is holding so that you can strike up a conversation.”

Scott grins. “That sounds like a story.”

Stiles waves him off. “Worst thirty minutes of my entire life, is what it was.”

“Did you at least get his number?” Kira asks, but before he can answer, Lydia interrupts. 

“Alright, Stiles,” she says, leaning forward and Stiles is officially scared, “I'll give you fifty dollars if you go up to the next person who walks into this bar and use one of Aiden's lines.”

Stiles groans. “Are you kidding? Come on, Lydia, we came here to hang out together tonight. I don't really wanna waste my time on someone I don't actually wanna date.”

“You don't have to take it any further than buying them a drink. Come on, Stiles, you're the one who says the lines actually work, to some extent.”

“Lydia...”

“In fact, if you get a number, I'll give you a hundred dollars and I'll pay for you to take them to a nice dinner.”

Kira lets out a breath. “Yeah, 'cause it's kinda sucky move to get someone's number and then never call them,”

Stiles sighs. On the one hand, he's really not in the mood to be shot down. On the other hand, fifty bucks is fifty bucks – even if he doesn't get a number, fifty bucks is worth a few seconds of humiliation.

“Fine, Martin, you've got yourself a deal.”

They shake hands across the table and then Lydia shifts her chair until she can see the door.

They're all watching like the proverbial pot, and the door doesn't boil, which isn't surprising. It's seven o'clock on a Thursday in downtown Beacon Hills and the sticky little dive bar isn't exactly a hot-spot. The only reason Stiles and his friends still frequent this place is because of nostalgia left over from their college days, when they were literally too poor to drink anywhere better.

Kira gets up to get another round and it isn't until she's passing out the drinks back at their table that the door finally opens and all four of them perk up like meerkats. 

“Please don't be anyone from the station,” Stiles pleads to whoever is listening. He can probably handle hitting on anyone except the people who work for his dad, most of who have either pulled him over for various driving offenses or babysat him at one point in his life.

And as Stiles' luck would have it, it's not someone from the station who enters the bar, two friends in tow, but it's someone as equally familiar.

“Is that Derek Hale?” Kira asks, her voice sounding awe-struck.

“Are you kidding me?” Stiles groans. He thumps his head down onto the table as Lydia laughs.

“A bet is a bet, Stiles.”

“It's really less of a bet and more like bribery.” See? This is why Stiles loves Scott the most.

“Call it whatever you like, but Stiles agreed. So, off you go.”

Stiles sits up straight and finishes off his beer as well as Scott's and takes a deep breath. “Alright, here we go. Tell my dad I love him because I might not make it back from this.”

He doesn't wait for a response, just pushes up from the table and makes his way across the room to Derek and his friends, who are propping up the bar. Movement out of the corner of his eye draws his attention and he looks back to see that his own friends have moved to an empty table much closer to the bar, so that they can hear everything, he supposes, and make sure he doesn't chicken out.

Rolling his eyes, Stiles continues on his way, his hands shaking, until he comes to stand next to Derek, resting his elbow on the bar.

He waits patiently until Derek notices him, takes in the slight widening of Derek's eyes as he looks at Stiles before Stiles pastes on his most winning smile.

“Hi, there. I really like your last name. Can I have it?”

Behind Derek, his blonde haired friend chokes on her drink and Stiles can hear his own friends falling into hysterical giggles, but Stiles ignores all of that, because, despite the blush coloring Derek's ears red, Derek is actually smiling at him.

“You have to know what my last name is, for a line like that to work.”

“Derek Hale. We went to high school together. Well, actually, I went to high school with your sister, Cora; you were a few years ahead of me.”

Derek narrows his eyes. “Stiles, right?”

Stiles grins. “Yep, that's me.”

“Well, I have to say, Stiles, that was one cheesy line you just pulled out. You didn't think that would actually work, did you?”

Stiles shrugs. “Hey, I made you laugh, and you're talking to me. I'd say it did more than I was expecting it to.”

“And that was your goal here? To talk to me?”

“And buy you a drink, if you'll let me?”

Derek studies him for a few seconds, his eyes narrowed in contemplation. Then he smiles and nods at the bottle in front of him.

The blonde chokes again. “Derek, you can't seriously be falling for this!”

Stiles waves at the bartender, ordering another beer for both Derek and himself.

“I guess my cheesy line didn't make me strike out too badly, then.”

Derek smiled, waving off the blonde while the guy she's standing with just smirks at Stiles like he knows something Stiles doesn't.

“No,” Derek agrees, “but I think that's probably because you didn't actually think it was going to work.”

“Must be my lucky night.”

Derek's cellphone is sitting on the bar and Stiles picks it up, illuminating the screen and notices that he doesn't have a passcode. “Sloppy,” he says as he waves it at Derek. “You lose this, and anyone will have access to all of your private stuff.”

“I have contingency plans in place for that. I just don't have the patience for passcodes or waiting for it to recognize my fingerprint.”

“I'll concede your point while quietly disagreeing at the same time.”

Derek grins. “Something tells me there's nothing quiet about you.”

Stiles blushes but ignores the comment as he sets the phone back down again. “Cute lock screen pic by the way. Little cliche, but...”

Derek laughs. “Like you could do any better.”

Stiles takes his phone from his pocket and shows Derek the lock screen photo, and loving the grin that stretches across Derek's face. “Where did you even get that?”

“I have my resources.” Stiles picks up his beer and toasts Derek. “But anyway, I've taken up enough of your time, I just wanted to come over and buy you a drink. I'll let you get back to your evening.” He nods his head at Derek's friends. “Ma'am, sir, sorry for the interruption. You all have a good night. I'll see you around, Derek.”

Derek grins again. “Oh, you can count on it.”

Stiles doesn't reply, just goes back to his table, tapping on his phone with one hand as he walks.

“Well?” Lydia asks as soon as he's sat down again and Stiles hands her his cellphone, Derek's number right there in his contacts for her to see.

Scott is gaping at him. “I don't...who are you? You were so...”

“Cool and calm,” Kira fills in when Scott can't find the words. “You're usually so...”

“You flail and stumble and blush everywhere,” Scott finishes.

“You two are freakishly perfect for each other.”

“That was so cool.”

Lydia hands his phone back, along with two crisp fifty dollar bills. “I have to admit it, Stiles, you proved me wrong. I am reluctantly impressed. If you call him and he wants to go on a date, let me know and I'll get you a reservation anywhere you like. On me.”

“Are you gonna call him?” Kira asks, bouncing in her seat.

“He got the guy's number,” Scott reminds his girlfriend. “You were the one who said it would be a douche move if he got a number and didn't call.”

“I'm gonna leave it a couple days. Don't want Derek to think I'm too keen.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

Stiles laughs. “Are you kidding me? I just hit on the hottest guy ever to come out of Beacon Hills and came out of it not only with my dignity intact, but a phone number as well. I am going to be riding on this one for a long time.”

Stiles takes another pull of his beer as his friends go back to discussing whether or not pickup lines actually work. At the bar, Derek is watching him and Stiles raises his bottle.

Derek laughs and shakes his head, but he raises his own bottle in return and Stiles decides he can die happy.

  
  


**Two Weeks Later**

  
  


Derek's sitting across from Stiles at a table in one of the most expensive restaurants in Beacon Hills, looking fabulous in a black shirt with top few buttons undone. He's looking over the menu while Stiles checks off the 'good luck on your date!' messages on his phone that his friends and his dad have sent him in the last hour.

“So,” Derek says when Stiles looks up, his eyes still roving over the dishes available.

“So...?” Stiles pushes when he doesn't follow with anything.

“So are we ever going to tell our friends how we really met, or are you going to let them believe that you won me over with a stupid pickup line in a dirty bar in front of all of our friends?”

Derek looks up at him with a teasing smile and it makes Stiles laugh. He flicks back to the lockscreen on his phone that shows a picture of a sleeping Derek, his face mashed into a pillow, hair disheveled and a hickey blooming on the back of his neck.

Derek's lockscreen photo is still the same one he'd had the night at the bar, a selfie they'd taken on their hike through the preserve a few weeks ago.

“Hmm,” he says, fingers drumming on his chin. “Do I want all of our friends to believe that I won you over with my awesome charm and stunning wit? Or do I want them to know about the awkward dance around a bookstore where we were both stalking each other and missing each other because we were both trying to be stealthy?” He smirks. “I think I'll take the option where we come out looking awesome, thanks.”

Derek sets his menu down and chuckles. “Boyd knows the truth, though.”

“I know he does, he almost blew it for us in the bar. I could see it in his eyes he was ready to burst and let it all out. I know I wouldn't have had that kind of self-control.”

“Boyd's a good guy,” Derek says.

Stiles nods in agreement. “And we will buy his silence in many, many ways. For now, we have a hundred bucks and a free meal at the best restaurant in town. So I say, we take the win and maybe spill the beans in the speech at our wedding.”

Derek blushes to the tips of his ears. “Wedding, huh? You really think that far ahead?”

“I told you, Derek. I really like your last name.”


End file.
